During our very first parenting weekend in Cornerstone, two of our deacons and their wives shared about their parenting journeys and how God has shown up time and time again as they learnt to rely upon His grace to raise their children. Everyone laughed as they recalled some relatable, funny, and heartwarming stories. Most importantly, their journeys inspired the congregation to be filled with faith and vision for their families, and to be intentional about evaluating our approaches to life through Biblical lenses instead of cultural norms.
Here are some of the things they learnt through parenting:
Calvin and Diane Ang
Relooking Values and Common Societal Beliefs
Parents of four children, Calvin and Diane touched on three common societal beliefs: “I cannot afford to have children”, “My child needs tuition”, and “I must respect my child’s privacy”. They believe that these beliefs are not always true, but are dependent upon priorities and values. Sometimes, it is social pressure that paints something as a need, when it might, in fact, be a “good-to-have” or a “want”.
Both educators by training, Calvin and Diane see the importance of good education and excelling in the academics. However, it is far more important that their children grow to love and serve the Lord. “We are not wealthy, but we know that we will always have enough for our children when we serve the Lord.”
Citing scripture verses from Genesis 1:28 and Malachi 2:15, they encouraged married couples to take the call to be fruitful and multiply seriously, for God is bigger than our fear of the rising cost of living.
Fear or Faith
Romans 14:23, “But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because he does not eat from faith; for whatever is not from faith is sin.” The couple shared that we should not do anything out of fear but choose faith. This includes the fear of not providing the best for the children, or the fear of losing out. They decided not to send their children for tuition despite it being the norm, instead, teaching them ownership of learning.
The children are taught to pay attention in class, complete their assignments diligently, and call out for help from their parents when they need assistance. This has worked for their family, and their children have been able to cope with their studies even as they serve in church.
During the Covid Circuit Breaker, they also managed to establish family devotion and fun times where they took time to impart values to the children, especially their identity in Christ. With this knowledge, children will realise that God’s resources are unlimited, and they can choose to be who they were created to be rather than what the world expects them to be.
“As parents, we work towards creating a nurturing and godly environment, where we are always guiding them. Every child requires a unique parenting strategy - that takes daily dependence on the Holy Spirit,” Calvin and Diane added.
Rick and Annie Chang
Names & Destinies
Rick and Annie sought the Lord for the names of each of their five children and the spiritual meaning behind the names. In the Bible, names were used to communicate God’s messages or to mark the beginning of a new season in a person’s life. As such, the Changs believe that a name is core to the identity of a person and can be an anchor for their life, reminding them of the destiny God has for them.
Sharing stories of how their children’s names became an encouragement to themselves in challenging times, they emphasised that the weapon the enemy often uses against children is negative thoughts in their minds.
“Be of a different spirit. You have the Spirit of God in you,” Annie encouraged her children during the
exam season, knowing that it is at such times that many children suffer from stress and anxiety.
Proverbs 12:25 says, “Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad.” Parents can speak power, love, and soundness of mind over their children and pray for the peace of God to guard their hearts.
Twenty-Four Hours is Enough
As a working mother, Annie shared that there always seems to be so much to do and not enough time, with five children to care for, a home to manage, and work to juggle. Living in “chaos” became the norm, and she never felt “in control”. But she received a revelation from God one day that twenty-four hours is enough. God made a day to be twenty-four hours, and to say that it was not enough would mean we are doing more than what God has intended for us. Twenty-four hours is enough to do the basic things in life that is important and essential, including time with God – it is all about prioritisation.
She started to take stock of how time was spent and started removing things that were distracting
and meaningless so that she could make time for what mattered most.
“God has blessed us with kids to stretch us, not for the kids to take over our lives,” she emphasised.
“By our testimonies, He wants us to reflect that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.
We can have many kids and have a fruitful life.”
Beyond work and kids, she sets aside time to exercise, read, spend time with God, learn new skills, and get the family involved in ministry and blessing the community.
Being Intentional
Rick carves time out of his busy schedule to write letters to his children so that he can intentionally capture significant observations and moments from everyday life that are often forgotten over time. The curation of memories could encourage them in years to come, he shared. Each child has unique strengths, and someday they may need to be reminded of a time in their growing years when they displayed inner strength and resilience. Rick’s motivation for writing is Father God’s love for us. God has always been an attentive and faithful father to each of us, and he is simply mirroring what the Father has been doing. “Never let time slip without noticing, we have the opportunity to build a legacy,” he encouraged the fathers in Cornerstone, adding that they may not write letters, but the point is being intentional about connecting with their children. “Strive to be the greatest mum and dad, and you only need to do it for your children.”
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